I wake up most mornings with the tweet of the first bird calling night into day, always darkness and knowing the light will come. I have practiced the habit of early morning rituals of meditation & prayer for many years now, not without a cup of coffee to jolt me into awakening.
I wake up with immense gratitude for this sweet little Caribbean island I now call home. The joyful morning noises of the birds and palm trees swaying in the breeze is an absolute wonder to me everyday as I spent many years in bleak Canadian Winters. To wake up in a warm bed and bright skies most days with a commute to work overlooking the ocean is certainly a dream come true. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to create Singita Wellness which is a sanctuary for myself and so many others.
But this is not why I write this Blog. Most of you have seen our social media posts. We are a lovely team with a passion amongst us to help others enhance their lives through healing, or rejuvenating spa treatments, and inspiring fitness or yoga classes. We invoke a movement, a sense of belonging and appreciation for each other which we do our best to share with all our guests and members. We are authentic, happy, enthusiastic and all human with our own struggles and issues to deal with.
So here I am, talking about mine. After giving up everything I had worked for and accomplished for myself in Canada I moved to Barbados to emotionally support my partner’s journey and with no work permit was forced to find myself in a situation where I had to completely rely on someone else. In some relationships where equality and mutual respect are present, this surrender can be a beautiful thing but in other less evolved relationships things can go horribly wrong and it did.
I have finally, after all these years of living, come to the realization I can stand on my own two feet and not have to depend on a man or husband to determine my fate. A sad realization and not without huge discomfort and pain to get myself to this point of enlightenment. It has taken a long hard look at the people pleaser I have been all these years, submitting to the demands of others with little regard for my own opinions, needs and relevant decision making skills. I have attracted controlling people to me, and had to look at the hard cold truth that I need to take responsibility for the place in which I found myself. Why did I choose controlling partners? In all the healing work and training I have done especially in Theta Healing we take a look at how an even unbearable or seemingly intolerable situation actually serves us in some insidious way. I perhaps didn’t have to face the cold hard truths about myself, a cop out of life to some degree if you will. Comfortably numb perhaps.
I was controlled, emotionally, financially, physically, and this was my “wake up call”, as traumatic as it all was. I am not here to berate another human being as I have evolved enough to know that hurt people, hurt people. This is about my journey of pulling myself together, making a stand, setting boundaries for myself and a definitive knowing when enough is enough. This can be difficult as we have all heard of psychological controls such as gaslighting or even the sad reality of “Stockholm Syndrome” it is a sad world out there where people have mental illness, whether it be depression, anxiety, bipolar, or personality disorders live with others and the infiltration or coercive ways can lead to a blurred consciousness of the victim for want of a better word. My own self growth and evolution is in the hope that my journey or struggle can be of help to another. Love cannot survive under dominance. We are all created equal and I have been born into the upper echelon of society and with Western world upbringing, education and privilege I had still lost myself. How many people, particularly women, but not to the exclusion of men, are imprisoned in a controlling relationship. To break free takes courage, resilience, determination, a whole lot of owning up to your own issues and painful healing. To come to terms with one’s own flaws is not a pretty thing to look at, I thought of myself as such a wonder of light and love, a little Pollyanna if you will, until I delved into my own psychological flaws. We are all imperfectly perfect, and I realised that without removing some of my own limiting beliefs, I would just continue on this Merry go Round of Life, not living my true purpose, my chosen path.
If I had to name the one thing that has helped shift my life into a positive direction it is Theta Healing. I started trying this energy healing modality along with therapy and found what would take weeks with cognitive therapy would literally show instant results. I am now accredited with my Advanced DNA Level II certification. I started “practicing” on family and friends and was truly amazed when reports came back of tangible changes in their lives. This filtered into helping staff at Singita which has led to combined Theta, Reiki and Sound Healing offered in our studio monthly. These sessions have been sold out which really indicates the need for such healings particularly during and post Pandemic. With Theta Healing we learn how to connect to the Divine Source of power and unconditional love, for rapid transformative healing. We clear the mind of limiting negative self beliefs and literally change your DNA, which as we have now learnt from ground-breaking author Dr Joe Dispenza, our genetic makeup does not ultimately determine our fate. To have the ability to change your genetic destiny is truly exciting to me. To change these supposed predetermined patterns, we are bridging the gap between science and spirituality with tools to help rewire your mental and emotional circuitry.
We need to pay attention to our patterns and realize the route we chose in order to survive might not be the way to thrive. We need to make uncomfortable choices until we are free. We need to heal and shift.
So in conclusion to this blog. I sit in a beautiful house on the west coast of Barbados, a shadow of its former glory with staff gone and lacking the love, life and attention it deserves.
I am still locked in a toxic legal battle, which is wasting precious time & money. The former me would have avoided this conflict at all costs and conveniently disappeared. The new me knows I deserve what is rightfully mine and controlling coercion and abuse is something that will never get the better of me again.
My rallying call is for you all to rise up and find your strength to live completely freely with or without a loving partner. I will fight my battle, and whilst doing so, I hope my healing work will enable others to find their strength to stand up for what they deserve, for everyone’s highest and best evolution.
With love, Michelle x