It’s been nine years since ‘the Incident’ that changed the course of my life…
As I reflect on this past year, tumultuous and full of unforeseen circumstances, it felt like I was stripped bare of everything that I thought defined me. Tearing away old identities, old relationships, old patterns I have been hanging on to. I was brought to my knees to face the shadow sides of myself this last year, my self abandonment over my life, the naivety, the lack of discernment of who I allowed into my inner circle, the Pollyana syndrome had me forced to look straight with headlights glaring, exposing my insecurities my fears, with a pain and heartbreak I had never experienced before. And yes, we can thank the Year of the Snake 2025 for doing a great job of shedding old skin.
And guess what, this is honestly a beautiful thing. I am truly thankful for the discarding of these false identities, the knowing that I am enough. I was able to work through them, heal them and yes feel them, which is the only way through. It has been a stripping down and shedding and to the depths of a deep excavation to my very core that I knew this was so much larger than this lifetime, this is karmic release.
If any of you have felt this to some degree or in various forms, now is the time to let go and release all that is holding you back. The end of 2025 (2+2+5 = 9) is the end of a nine-year cycle in numerology, a tying up of loose ends. 2026 (2+2+6=1) is a One year, setting the next nine-year cycle we are about to start.
As I thought of writing this blog today to share some of my personal experiences in healing and growth with you, I looked at the date as I know we are finishing a nine year cycle. I had a feeling and something struck in a lightbulb moment.
I pulled out my journal from all those years ago. I write in my journals periodically, I always have one next to my bed, and have some writing on the go, musings or affirmations but don’t always daily record specifics. However there on the first page December 18, 2016 the heading “The Incident”. Coincidence? More like divine synchronicity! This was a devastating life changing moment for me, I have recorded day by day from there over the next few months, and won’t share any details but suffice to say it was the start of some of the most challenging months and years of my life.
If I look back at the struggles personally and my living conditions, I could continue to feel like the victim, but I can now look back and say “Oh my God, God you are amazing!! You have changed me in ways I never thought possible”. My strength, my resilience, my courage and my faith has grown in ways I could never have imagined. Believe me, I wouldn’t have signed up for this, although they say our Spirit signs up with a contract to fulfil, and I do believe I showed up for the assignment in the best way I could. Along this path I have always been incredibly grateful for my blessings. During this time, I became an Advanced Certified Theta Healer, and founded Singita Wellness, still ongoing on a different platform, and soon more exciting news to share, but that’s another days’ blog.
I have unbelievable support from my family and a few close friends. My sister Sandy, who has been my rock and business partner and my daughter Paula, are my real-life earth angels. They have been at my side with incredible pillar like strength and feeling the hurt with me, sometimes too much. I never wanted my daughter to take on this role but Paula has stepped into this amazing wise, authentic woman. However, as I have grown stronger, she has demonstrated her own strength and hopefully as her need to protect me diminishes, she will focus more on the protection of her own children and her amazing, supportive husband. My wonderful son and daughter-in-law always checking in. My brother and sister-in-law whose prayers have been fervent through my challenging times. My lovely small group of genuine friends, you know who you are, and my Singita community. This along with the health and wellbeing of my family, children and Grandchildren are indeed blessings, and this is the true measure of wealth.
My personal struggles are not unlike many others, and I know there is so much worse, it’s all a personal journey and personal perspective. I know my empathy and sensitivities mean I feel life’s challenges deeply. The one thing I do not know is how one would get through this without a deep sense of faith, a trust in God, a knowing of Divine Intervention and Spirituality being my main source of strength along with a kickass workout everyday!!!
These are my means for survival of the fittest and in the words of the profound Maya Angelou:
“I know that a diamond is a result of extreme pressure. Less time and less pressure and its just a crystal or fossilized leaves or just dirt. But time and pressure, will create a diamond.”
Shine bright like a diamond my beauties, stay in alignment and hang on tight as the Year of the Horse is galloping in clearing our path for new opportunities, direction, purpose and breakthrough!
Finally I feel carved into the version of myself I’m meant to be, it only took 62 years…lol